fearlessly protective

  As time goes on and the pregnancy moves further along. I spend more time at choisy because it is the one place I feel at ease. I spend my days writing in my journal of the daily happenings of my life and  random thoughts that take over my mind and I feel the need to write them down. I have spent a great deal of time thinking about my family and how it will soon grow with another addition that is my own. I have made the carriage ride to Versailles but when I walk into Versailles for my duties with Her Royale Highness Victoire. I feel myself tense up and become stressed because I am trying not to let the anger get the best of me. I am trying my best to do what is best for my family. I feel as if we are being attacked by a curmudgeon old women who doesn’t want happiness for anyone. She seems to be home in her miserable state and wants everyone to follow suit. I shall not let that happen for me or my family. She has gotten to my niece who is new at court . I have to tell her when she is at court to grow a thick skin because there will be things that can lead her to cry but she must not show weakness ;she must not let them know she is vulnerable even if she is. The old women can smell fear and innocence and attacks it like a dog going after a bone thrown to them while the hungered.

The marriage of my brother is fast approaching and I am still not happy of the idea of Mademoiselle Chiverny becoming a Tancarville. She is the pet of a women  who seeks to make peoples lives miserable which make me wonder is this marriage a plot of some sort or a actual marriage of convenience like the many others that happen between nobility. I wonder if the old women is using  the mademoiselle as a pawn of some sort or her own personal enjoyment of entertainment. A sort of  play where the characters don’t quite know they are the entertainment of someone who could care less of the lives they destroy. I pray his marriage goes well and I worry for nothing because if I find that my brother ends up hurt from this marriage and is the fault of the chiverny women…I will come down on her as a wolf does a lamb in the meadow. She will never know the day nor the hour when I will strike. I pray it does not come to that and she does the duties that a wife should do for a husband but for my family who mean a lot to me. I would do anything to protect them from harm.