I has been months since my marriage and now that my husband has my dowry. He spends more time fixing up his chateau and I spend my days at Versailles being there for Comtesse du barry whenever she has a event although from time to time I host my own in the evening where HRH m le Comte de Provence and his wife attend. I suspect the wooing me part is over and real marriage starts. When my father wrote me when I was away from Versailles he could only tell me what would have been expected of me as a Mademoiselle and not as a married comtesse.I assume after going into debt.He would think I would not marry and become someones governess. Being a comtesse is something my mother can not teach me she was not a women who loved Versailles. So deep and devout in her catholic faith especially after my uncle dying she thought it was no place for a women but she is taken care of with her dowry that was something the debtors could not take from her.My siblings and I would only depend on ourselves and the name we were born with.
Although I write him and ask if he could come to Versailles to spend time with me he see's it better to stay where he is and he doesn't realize a women needs attention...A women needs some sort of love from someone. If only we could go back to being happy...if only there was still love. Like there was before...A once happy relationship crumbles from my fingers and I can not put back the pieces.At this moment in life. I really don't want to put the pieces back I want our relationship to be like it is for the others. A show to put on so that the others will believe we are happy when we are not.
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