I awoke today with a purpose of putting myself in good standing. My first move was to get my life out of the mouths of the Royals and with that I resigned as the dame de compaigne of Comtesse du Barry ,the kings mistress. I feel she was the route of my cousins death. I know there are many who think I dwell to much on the death of my cousin but she was more of a sister to me then my own sisters. We both lost a father in disgrace . We knew each others pain more then anyone would. When she got her appointment at court I was excited for her. A lady in waiting to Madame la Dauphine was a great honor and I had hoped that in years to come she could boast about being the lady in waiting to the queen with a husband of the same respectable standing as hers. I wished for her only great things.Those ideas are now dashed and I can only rectify my own bad decisions made in Shakespearean thought that things would end in the way those plays do where all that belong with the ones they love…do. I was wrong and now I must fix what is cracked. I attended the ball celebrating the return of her Royal Highness and was very surprised when she had talked to me. She seemed kind hearted and this is not something that I get from the Royals. I would have thought that she had the influence of Madame Royale and that she would not like me at all but she has heard of my past and still wishes to speak to me was suprising. I did hear whispers that night of her wanting me for something important of what I am not sure. I know whatever it is that I will never get it without fighting for it.
On this night I thought it would be better then any to resign from my position . I spoke with Comtesse du barry at the ball telling her of my resignation and although it pained me to see her start to let her emotions take her. I felt more free then I had ever before where will my place be at court while I am in no household. That I am not sure of that and at this point I will figure out that part when the time comes.
No comments:
Post a Comment